Hollison Journey

“The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” – Don Williams Jr

Letting Go

on November 20, 2008

The past few months have definitely been growing months for me in my faith life. A few months ago came the realization that I was forgetting to take stuff to God; instead I was taking them to my friends. My friends are wonderful people, but they shouldn’t have been number one on my advice/counsel list.

This past weekend though, came another growth spurt. Joe and I went to staff a retreat for my old church. Joe was music guy and i was sound girl (oh my gosh – Music Guy and Sound Girl would be an AWESOME comic book! oh, back to the blog) and we were doing our thing like we have so many times. Saturday night was adoration. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is exactly that: a time to pray and adore upon a consecrated host, which Catholics see as Jesus: body, blood, soul and divinity.  So adoration begins and I am not more than 20 feet away from the monstrance. Yet, am I kneeling in prayer? reflecting on the power of God? thanking God for my many blessings? No. I’m hovering over my laptop making sure that the lyrics slides are ready because as soon as Father finishes the prayer, Joe will be singing.

And then I stopped. What is wrong with me? The blessed sacrament is RIGHT THERE and I’m huddled over a computer screen. I looked at our song list. Joe’s first song was Better Is One Day. Come on, all these kids know that song. They don’t need words. How often do I keep control and stay so organized and anal that I schedule OUT God? I blacked the projector screen, sat down and began to pray while Joe’s voice filled the room. And you know what? It was ok. Nothing bad happened because the words weren’t up. The ceiling didn’t cave in. OK, I lie, one thing did happen: I strengthened my relationship with God.

I went back and forth the rest of the night; some songs had lyrics and some didn’t. I doubt it took away from anyone’s experience, and it certainly enhanced mine.

Yesterday, before XLT began, I went into the chapel and prayed. Yes, I was about to be involved with a praise and worship night, but let’s face it, at XLT, I am working. I needed that time away from the “job site” to refresh and clear my head.

Do I schedule my life so tight and frantic that I push God aside so I can be in control? Yes.

Am I working on it? With God’s grace, yes.

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2 responses to “Letting Go

  1. mbehnke says:

    That’s exactly what God brought to my own attention last week. I keep making resolutions to schedule my day around prayer rather than prayer around my day and I keep failing at them! You will be in my prayers as you work at this and please keep me in yours!

    I miss you! See you Saturday??

  2. Amanda says:

    You’re not alone, friend. I’m so bad about leaning on Jimmy and my parents for strength when I should turn to the Lord for the help I need. When I do turn to Him, it’s so much better than when I rely on family! I love them, but it’s not the same as going to Jesus and asking Him for the strength (physical, emotional, or mental!) to get through another day alone with Laura (especially after a long day at MDO). One of Satan’s favorite things to do is to tempt us to full up our lives with things so that we won’t fill up our hearts and minds with the Word and the power of the Spirit.

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